Sometimes, dating can be incredibly challenging. Sometimes, we like someone so much that we experience extreme pre-date self-consciousness. Because of our self-consciousness, it can be challenging for us to meet them for a first date and be ourselves.
In this blog, we’ll look at some first-date dos and don’ts to ensure that you have a great time on any first dates you have planned.
Keep in mind that a date involves two people, so the person you are meeting up with may also feel awkward in your presence. Additionally, they’ll be trying to make a good first impression and will want to know if you’re having fun or want to confirm that you are.
First Date Don’ts:
Don’t Be Late
Although we’re starting with the fundamentals, you’d be surprised at how few people value timeliness. Showing up to your first date “fashionably late” isn’t attractive, no matter how busy or in demand you want to seem. It’s just plain rude.
Don’t Look At Your Phone
Nothing is more impolite than someone who is constantly checking their phone while you are out with them. It instantly shouts, “Everything on this screen is more significant than you.” That’s possibly the worst message you can convey to someone you’re just getting to know. Put your phone away, put it on silent, and concentrate entirely on your date.
Don’t Come On Too Strong
Even though you’re on a date and the main objective is to find a romantic partner, many people find it very off-putting when you come on too strong. Expert in sexual health and wellness Tiffany Yelverton says that using pet names like “babe” and “honey” is a big no-no, and Furthermore, I disagree. We just got acquainted; I’m not your baby!
On a first date, excessive touching is also unnecessary. Determine the situation based on the activity; if you are bowling and your date gets a strike, definitely go for the flirtatious high-five. It’s probably a bit excessive for a first date to hold hands the entire time you’re strolling through a park.
Don’t Focus On Yourself
Don’t let the purpose of a first date—which is to get to know someone—be defeated by talking exclusively about yourself. Although it might feel natural to want to brag about all your wonderful qualities when you’re trying to impress your date, refrain from doing so. It’s particularly simple to fall into this trap when your date is more reserved, but you shouldn’t start ranting about your middle school teachers just because your date is a little reserved.
On the first date, you don’t have to go into detail about your life. Hopefully, there will be plenty of time for this in the future. Sharing the fundamentals and letting the conversation go wherever it may during the first date are the two things that should be prioritized. Sometimes, talking about the most random subjects is a sign the date is going well because you are truly present. It was one of the most enjoyable conversations I’ve ever had on a first date when a date and I once talked for ten minutes about the order of our favorite cereals (with specific justification, of course). It’s unfortunate that Mini-Wheats took the top spot; that’s a deal-breaker.
Don’t Overthink Things
Even before you have sat down for coffee or drinks, overthinking things before first dates can put them to an abrupt end. When you overthink things, your anxiety can soar, which will make you feel less than your best when the big date begins.
Don’t Ask Questions Too Deep
While it’s great to ask your date questions that are above and beyond themselves, try not to delve too deeply at this point. First dates should be lighthearted and carefree; otherwise, you risk having no fun at all if you start to get serious too soon.
Don’t Pander To Their Every Want
On a first date, it’s very simple to continuously say “I don’t mind” in an effort to come across as laid-back and open-minded. However, this can put a lot of pressure on the person you are dating to make decisions, and they don’t want to choose something that you don’t feel like doing, so try to assert yourself occasionally.
Don’t Start Talking About A Second Date Too Early
A first date is not the time to start counting your chickens. Even though you might think your date is going great, if you keep bringing up the possibility of a second date, the other person might feel a lot of pressure.
Don’t Get Too Drunk
Even though it’s very simple to do, it’s a good idea to avoid becoming overly inebriated on the first date. While it will undoubtedly help you lose some of your inhibitions, if you drink too much, you might find that your actions become very unattractive.
Don’t Go With Too High Expectations
Overthinking can raise your expectations, which is one of the reasons it’s a bad idea. When you do this, the person you are dating is likely to fall short of your expectations, which makes you feel as though the date was a failure.
Don’t Get Nervous
Being anxious is similar to putting the breaks on a date. It can seriously impede your ability to carry on a conversation without stuttering or tripping over your words. Don’t put all your hopes in this one; there are plenty of other people you can date.
Understanding men’s emotions at a much deeper level will be the key to finding a solution.
Don’t Get Defensive
Sometimes, as we get to know someone, we may not feel entirely at ease with the way they speak. Even when someone speaks to us with the best of intentions, their words occasionally cause us to become defensive. To avoid awkwardness between you and your partner, try not to become overly defensive too soon.
Don’t Let On That You Have Googled Them
Of course, don’t reveal to them that you Googled them or spent an excessive amount of time looking through their social media. Despite how frequent it is in reality, this can be quite frightening to a person.
Don’t Dwell On Bad Relationship Experiences
You might treat the first date like a counseling session if you’re feeling lonely and want someone to talk to.
Don’t use the first date as an opportunity to emotionally release the trauma from recent events.
Negatives should be quickly passed over in favor of your current self and your future goals.
First Date Dos:
Choose Your Outfit Carefully
On a first date, appearance does matter a lot, despite the superficial perception that it might. It may appear that you don’t care about making a good first impression if you are dressed extremely casually. If you’re going on a date, think about the activity you’ll be doing, and then dress accordingly. Wearing something that makes you feel attractive and at ease is important in this situation. Your date will see that you’re at ease and confident.
Listen
When someone is not really paying attention to you, it is obvious. Your date will slouch and act dull if your eyes start to drift, which is a telltale sign of boredom. Consider really listening to what your date is telling you rather than second-guessing your next move.
“When you listen to another person, it gives them a signal that understanding could develop between both of you in the early stages,” Hernorm.com’s managing editor, Sonya Schwartz, tells HelloGiggles. “Even if you don’t understand them as well as their old friends do, you should at least indicate that you will do so in the near future.”
The bottom line is this: If you show your date that you respect what they have to say, hopefully they will do the same for you.
Use Good Manners
A person’s manners—or lack thereof—speaks volumes about them, to return to the opening-the-door example. This applies to more than just placing a napkin on your lap prior to eating and avoiding biting into ribs. The way you treat those around you while on a date reveals a lot about you. Saying “please” and “thank you” to waiters or “excuse me” when you bump into someone on the way to the table are all common courtesy behaviors that you should be doing anyway, but especially on a first date when you’re building your character in your date’s eyes. Demonstrate your consideration for others.
Be On Time And Present Yourself At Your Best
Consider your date as a business appointment, so be on time.
Nobody wants to be kept waiting and wondering if they’ve been duped on a first date, which can be awkward enough!
Create a good first impression by dressing well. Buy a new outfit that reflects the new you if you’ve been married and have kids because you may have neglected yourself in the past.
Choose The Right First Date Location
Making plans for a first date can be challenging. Choose a relaxed, neutral setting unless you are certain of your date’s preferences. A bar or coffee shop, for example, works much better than dinner and a movie because you can easily leave if you realize right away that you don’t click. You can always order more drinks if you decide to.
Take Turns Doing The Talking
On first dates, people sometimes ramble and talk excessively because they are nervous. Don’t just talk about yourself all the time; pay attention as well.
Your goal is to learn enough about each other to decide whether you would like to go on another date.
Ask Creative Questions
Ask questions like “do you have a passion beside your job?”, “what were you like as a kid?” or “what is the best memory about your home city growing up?”
With the help of these questions with an emotional focus, you can establish a connection with the other person and discover a little bit more about them.
Be Confident
Being confident in yourself and your abilities should be the most common piece of advice you receive. Do not forget that you possess many positive traits that your date will find appealing in addition to being attractive. Their best selves will be displayed if they are self-assured.
Be Open To Suggestions
It can be challenging to unwind on a first date, but attempting to let go of rigid expectations can be helpful. Be receptive to suggestions from your date regarding what you two do that day or that evening.
Do Get To Know Them
Finding out more about someone is the main goal of first dates. This will be facilitated by your inquiries, but you can also gain a deeper understanding of someone by observing how they carry themselves or relate to others.
Check Their Social Media
A person can be better understood and their interests can be known a little bit more if you look through their social media accounts. While some might view this as stalking, it can actually just help you determine whether you two get along or not.
Do Talk About Similar Interests
Use your shared interests to your advantage by trying to talk to them about your shared hobby. This can serve as a solid foundation for any relationship and instantly calm you both down.
Close Note: Be Yourself
To be yourself, however, is the most crucial thing to keep in mind. If you’re not, you’re only setting yourself up to fall short later on when you can’t maintain the pretense you made when you first went out together. Long-term benefits include increased happiness for you.